Realise.Me COO Richard John has been gazing into his Christmas crystal ball and has come up with some mysterious meetings and event predictions for 2025. They couldn’t come true, could they…?
January: Recognising the ‘Cash Rich/Time Poor’ world we all live in, a new show ‘Break-up EXPO’ is launched, with booths taken by AI dating apps which will handle every aspect of your current – and next – relationship.
February: The global ‘Influencer Summit’ includes a session on ‘Sponsored Air.’ The opening session is ‘Monetising Every Breath You Take: Selling Oxygen Rights to Brands.’ FOBO (Fear Of Breathing Out) becomes a ‘thing.’
March: At an AI awards ceremony ChatGPT fails to win a single nomination, and takes control of the venue, locking delegates in their rooms, until losing in a vicious digital fight with Co-Pilot.
April: The Society of Flat Earthers organise their first convention, ironically inviting people from all four corners of the earth. Unfortunately, they choose to host it on a cruise-liner and, in a bitter twist of fate, fall off the edge of the planet.
May: Recognising that Millennials rarely look up from their phones, a new show is launched with every exhibitor’s stand merely screen-printed on to the floor. Reviewers describe it as ‘a sight to see’. Sadly, bankruptcy faces the organisers due to the high number of injuries from bodily collisions.
June: There’s huge success for the newly launched ‘Corruption EXPO,’ in which major players in the global capitalist markets exhibit to explain what level of bribery is necessary to win their support. Parliaments around the world empty and the show quickly hits ‘sold out’ status.
July: It’s the launch of the AutoMate, a humanoid robot designed to replicate human interaction at events. It will approach attendees, struggle to start a conversation, and then ask banal questions about their journey to the show and how the weather was when they left home, before mimicking consuming too much cheap wine and stumbling into a table of hors d’oeuvres.
August: Advanced badging solutions arrive with the option of ‘judgement’ mode. These allow for digital messages to be sent directly to a delegate’s badge for all to see. No-one can see any potential problems with this strategy.
September: Conference organisers start hiring out portable lie detectors to speakers. Now they can generate instant feedback by asking the audience “Oh, you say you’ll buy my services, but not according to this reading” or “You claim to be a global meetings planner but your passport was confiscated three years ago. Explain.”
October: Organisers introduce ‘Silent Networking’ sessions. Attendees can scan each other’s QR codes via cautious eye contact and aggressive nodding, with zero verbal interaction required.
November: An industry trade show redefines the floor layout with the entire hall full of perfectly round stands. This was in response to the 87% of visitors who promised to ‘circle back’.
December: It’s the arrival of the Self-Aware conference app. Boost your events’ appeal by sending passive-aggressive notifications such as, “You’ve missed five networking sessions. Do you even care about your career?”
As with all great futurists, I can make such pronouncements knowing that no-one will remember this time next year…
